Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

I thought I would copy you all in on a letter I forwarded to God today. And who knows, maybe reading it will give you something to do on your rainy Sunday afternoon...

Mr. Eagle Eye

1 Eagle Street

Eye

Eyeshire

EA1 9LE

Jesus Christ Esq.

Cloud 9

TH3 5KY

Sunday 1st March 2009.

Dear Lord,

RE: Sundays- the day of 'rest' but what else?

My name is Mr Eagle Eye. But I guess you already knew that. I am just one of the many creatures (great and small) who live on the wonderful planet that we call the Earth. As I sit here today - the Sunday papers read, the inevitable Fry-up long gone (and in my belly) and all DIY up-to-date and in order, I am pondering about the point of this day in the whole spectrum of things.

My rather biased - although entirely valid - explanation at the moment is, that you created this sacred day to allow us mere humble beings to recover from the night before. As I speak, last nights antics and this mornings inevitable hangover have yet to be cured by fresh dose of air, a couple of aspirin, a stiff cup of coffee and a refreshing shower.

It is quite easy to justify the creation of many of the other day's. Monday morning is for us to catch up with work colleagues about Saturday night. Tuesday is to catch up on the work that should have been doing on Monday, Wednesday evening is for catching a movie, taking advantage of Orange Wednesdays. Friday afternoon: trawling the Internet at work, and planning the next Saturday night out. And finally, Saturday is for shopping, dining out and getting hopelessly drunk. Oh, and taking to the dance floor unsafe in the knowledge that we are the best dancer in the world (under the influence of alcohol) no matter what anyone else thinks. At this point I must quickly press on before I suffer any mental flashbacks of myself on the aforementioned dance floor last night. Damnit, too late.

Anyway; back to Sundays. What are they for?!

Television is awful; a mixture of repeated episodes of 'Friends', endless hours of pointless soap Omnibuses and to top it all off- black and white films invading every TV channel on my screen. Not happy- Why were they even invented anyway?! I can't enjoy a film when I can't actually see the colour of anything on the screen. Maybe I hold a grudge for the hours of torture I was physically forced through as a child to watch these 'classic' films.

I suppose there are cars to watch and there is football to play, but seeing as my car is out of action on the drive way and football does nothing for me, this is entirely irrelevant. Of course some people still go to church- but although I believe in you, I don't believe in organised religion so this isn't much help either. Sorry. I might read a book, in the garden if its sunny (my endless pursuit of a perfect tan that never materialises) I might force myself through a little of the ashamedly bad telly. I might even listen to a little music, or watch a film- but this is all something I can quite happily fit into the rest of the week thank you very much. Ultimately I almost always end the day on an utterly bored and unfulfilled note. I like to feel like I have accomplished something at the of the day, and come Sunday evening I am always disappointed.

I just can't fathom why they were latched on to the end of the week. As some sort of compensation for the the trauma of enduring endless Sunday-after-Sunday-after-Sunday, maybe you would be kind enough to take a little of your time and answer my questions. Now I understand you are a very busy man, but maybe it could give you something to do during your own Sunday evening. If it anything like mine then I hope you may appreciate this kind gesture.

I would be very interested to hear your explanations on the matter and greatly anticipate your reply. Not least because I have a bet with one of my mates about your ultimate reasoning for this pointless 7th day of the week, but also because reading your reply will give me something to do on my otherwise empty Sunday schedule.

Yours faithfully

Mr. E.A Eye

CC: Anyone who reads my blog

PS: As I speak a David Attenborough nature documentary has appeared on my television screen and it all makes sense- this is why Sundays were invented after all!