Blushing and Flushing

With all this Giggling and Blushing, you'd think I was a little school girl with blond pig tails and a pair of dungarees. Let me assure you, I am not. However blushing is yet another torment in my life, and once again it is something that I have been cursed by since f o r e v e r.

Now contrary to what the title of this blog entry may or may not imply, this is not the start of an endearing tale about how something that I flushed caused me to blush. Flushing is actually just the technical name that Doctors give blushing. (doesn't actually sound too technical to me but hey..)

Funnily enough of all the many blushing tales I could tell, the only one that includes a flush was talking to a boss, on the loo, forgetting where I was and consequently flushing the toilet whilst still on the phone. And taking the idea of my ex-boss (funny that, eh) being a superhuman-who-can-see-into-other peoples-minds out of the equation, then this particular blush which turned my head into a shining beetroot wasn't actually seen by anyone else. Although I'm pretty sure the blush was so strong in-fact that you could hear it in the tone of my voice...

You see, although Blushing frustrates me, it is kind of fascinating. In the wide and varied animal kingdom, only humans blush- and no one is quite sure why. Without a second glance, it seems a pretty pointless, if painful, exercise- then again maybe Im biased. However it is entirely natural and a completely sub conscience reflex which cannot be helped- research shows even somebody who is both deaf and blind, can blush- indicating the very internal nature of this phenomenon. It's all in the mind.. Still this doesn't help.

The nitty gritty boring explanation is that Adrenalin dilates the blood vessells in the skin, allowing more blood in and this turns our cheeks, neck and ears that rather fetching Ketchup-coloured shade of red. Experts sort-of agree that it can, and I repeat CAN be a useful unspoken message between two people. If you loudly fart in a crowded room, then it is a sub conscience message of apology, acknowledgement and remorse to the poor souls around you. However it soon turns against you when it is a silent-but-deadly-killer, and you turn such a deep shade of scarlet that you might as well wear a 'IT WAS ME' sign fastened to the top your head. To rub salt into the wound, or last nights curry into the delivery so to speak, some people may blush even if it wasn't them who released the fatal blow. A lose/lose situation I'm sure you'd agree.

I am one of those poor unfortunate chaps who turns red at the drop of the hat. Not only when embarrassed, or uncomfortable, but if any degree of attention is placed on me for more than a micro-second. I can walk past a large group of people and a mere glance in my direction normally gets the ol' reflex-a-glowing. Even when I'm complimented my body can't cope with it and sends those red blood cells marching into my face like an army into battle.

It can work for me or against. My partner can even find it a bit 'cute' If I am complimented then I might go red, and this is a silent- but assuring - acknowledgment and thank you in return. However 9 times out of 10 it is something I'd rather be rid of. When a sister has lost her favourite DVD for example and she's sniffing out a culprit- then a luminous goldfish bowl for a head doesn't help to prove my innocence. Not 'till its found can I manage to do that. Whatever happened to innocent until proven....??

At work this morning I was invited to a 'girly' pyjama party. Now as a gay male I am no stranger to hanging out with best female friends eating and drinking (better described as devouring) pizza and alcohol and whatever. However these are my work friends and this was my 'first' invite to one of these things. Being a bloke, I irrationally stated they didn't have to invite me if they didn't really want to. It was a girly night after all. At the same time my head unsubtly morphed into a giant red balloon, and those pesky and over-defensive red blood cells invaded the upper half of my body AGAIN. My boss then took offence thinking I had taken offence, we were very confused and I had to explain my embarrassment. It was more my rather 'cute' (Pfftt..) way of appreciating this very kind gesture and invitation...and if Im honest, inclusion.

It is seen as a kind of weakness; a sign of guilt or inferiority but it really shouldn't be. Its a vicious cycle; you go red, and as soon as it's pointed out then you go even redder. I also tend to become irrationally defensive and stutter out something incomprehensible or unjustifiably tense. Usually to pass the attention elsewhere. Another vicious reflex.

But is there REALLY a point to it all? Well.. its generally believed to have evolved as a kind of defence to get us back on track when diverging from our in-built sense of what is right and wrong. We cross our own personal boundary and our bodies physically react to make us think about what is happening, or what we are doing.

Either way, it really shouldn't bother us. It's something we should learn to live with, and what comes with age and experience, is the ability to tone down the reaction. We can be advised to relax and to breathe slowly, or to seek help with hypnosis or pill's, but it is something we ALL experience at one point or another and I somehow I doubt I will be preventing this very natural reaction anytime soon. After all, even though it defies absolute explanation, our bodies must do it for a reason..